February 8, 2000 ~ Sunsets and Engagements

A red glow fills the room as I am writing this. It is sunset. The natural lighting these last few days has been interesting. All day long the sky has been a beautiful light blue color near the horizon, transitioning to a darker, more vibrant blue overhead. The mountains, instead of their normal brown, dead, winter look, have had a deep violet color, which fades to purple in the evening, and then a rich red at sunset. Outside one of my windows it looks particularly gorgeous, because I can see quite a few mountains from that vantage. The nearby trees are an even mix of evergreen and deciduous. The dark green of the pines and the earthy brown of the oaks and others make for a beautiful contrast against the purple mountains and blue sky. Here and there are glistening white patches of snow that haven't quite melted yet, which turn a golden color at this time.

I haven't climbed any trees here, yet. I really should do that. I ought to hike more, too.

I think it's kind of ironic that the more red a sunset is, the more pollution there is in the air. Beauty from ugliness and destruction. Strange to think about.

Well, Morgan and I are now officially engaged. By officially, I suppose I mean that we have announced to others our intent to marry each other. We have known for a very long time that we would eventually marry. Now the difference is that it is formal and other people know. There is no ring, however; we can't afford it. The ring doesn't matter that much to me, anyway.

Something inside me keeps saying, "Wait a minute, you are now engaged. That's a BIG deal! Why aren't you more excited?" This has been a quiet transition. Steady and peaceful. The next natural step.

Last time I did this, in a different relationship (my only other serious relationship), things had been going badly for a few months. Then we got engaged. We had a "honeymoon" period for a few weeks, but then things started to go bad again. With Morgan it has been different. There has been a type of perpetual, underlying happiness and steadiness to our relationship all along. Sometimes things get a little difficult, or excessively joyful, but under it all is always that steady, happy calm. This shouldn't be a big deal, I don't think. It is just too natural. There is a time for everything, and this is the time for our engagement; it is right. Our life together is just quietly progressing.

(If anyone is wondering, we are tentatively planning on December of this year).

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