November 14, 2000 ~ Prenuptial Assumptions of the State

Note: FTP has been down on the server I use, so I couldn't upload anything. Sorry for the long pause!

Wow. I feel productive. Morgan and I got a lot done today! One of our classes was cancelled, and I got permission from my other Professor to miss class in order to go downtown and get some important wedding stuff taken care of. Welcome to the world of OH-MY-GOD-OUR-WEDDING-IS-IN-A-MONTH-AND-WE-HAVEN'T-ACTUALLY-GOTTEN-ANYTHING-DONE-YET!!!

First, we paid for the space we are renting for the ceremony and reception. It is a beautiful new building behind the College Chapel called the Fellowship Hall. Next, we headed to the bank so that Morgan could deposit some checks so that the check he had just written for the Fellowship Hall wouldn't bounce ;-)

We also called the Jeweler's to make sure they hadn't lost our order for our rings. The said that everything was fine, and that they are working on them; they should be done by early December. One less thing to worry about. (We still have to worry about how to pay the remaining $1,000 dollars for them... Ouch.)

After that, we found the local DMV tag office and transferred Pokey's registration to this county so she could get inspected, and we bought her some new stickers. (Pokey is our 1981 Plymouth Reliant). She was supposed to be inspected over two months ago, but we drive so rarely that we hadn't even thought about it. Oops. I noticed a Hairdresser's College across the way from the DMV and noticed that they did haircuts for six bucks. Alright! I'll be back there soon; I've been needing a hair cut for months.

Next came the big part. The Register of Deeds in the Courthouse downtown. Morgan set off the metal detector several times due to his steel-toed boots. He also got searched because of his pocketknife. Heh.

They gave us a little form to fill out, and we were just fine until I got to the part that asked where my father was born. Um... I knew that it was either Oregon or Washington. I asked the lady behind the desk and she told me to just put down one of the two, so I guessed Washington.

Next, we came to another difficulty. Morgan didn't know the county in which he was born. We went downstairs to the pay phones, and he attempted to call both of his parents. Neither was anywhere to be found. We went back upstairs and pleaded with the lady behind the counter. Morgan could remember the name of the little town they lived in at the time he was born, so he told her that. She was able to find it. Yea!

That done, we finished filling out the form and the lady typed it up while we looked at the ancient law books on display in the case out front. Finally, she called us over. We solemnly said an oath promising that all of the information on the form was correct to the best of our knowledge. She had us sign the forms, and then put everything together in an envelope, giving us several instructions.

There were a few things I noticed in these instructions. She asked if a Minister would perform the wedding. We said yes. From then on she called this Minister "him" and "he," even though I corrected her a few times. Our minister is a woman. *grumble*

Also, she kept talking about how I would be changing my name. Now wait just a minute lady! I don't know that yet! I'm not ready to say that for sure! What if we want to combine our names? What if I just keep my old name? What if we choose a new name entirely? This is a union, not an acquisition of property on the Groom's part!

So yeah... in other news... We don't know WHAT we're going to be doing about the NAME THING. It's a very strange concept for me.

For twenty-one years I have been Melissa Kate Ray. That's my name, it's what people call me, it's what I sign all my checks with, it's what is on my Diploma, it's what is on all of my published writing... it's me. It's the trail I have left of myself, my little mark on the things I have touched. I am Melissa Kate Ray.

Now, suddenly, I am realizing that I may very soon be something else. I will have a different label, suddenly. Melissa Kate Ray DAVIS. Melissa Davis. Huh? Wait a minute! Slow down! I'm not ready? What does this mean, anyway???

How can I be one person for 21 years, and then, suddenly, be someone else? I think of this every time I introduce myself, every time I get a piece of mail, every time I sign something, every time I put my name on a piece of writing... How much is my name a part of me? What does my name say about me?

Ray. I know the history of my name. My name comes from the Scottish Clan MacRae. They were guardians of a castle in Scotland for another Clan. When that clan dissipated, the MacRaes were given ownership of the castle, and they still have ownership today. A while back, part of the Clan branched off and came to America. In order to fit in (in a place where there were some prejudices about Scots), they decided to drop the Mac and change the spelling of Rae to Ray. They didn't want it to sound Scottish. So The Rays flourished in America, and are now settled in several different places. That is where my name comes from. It's an interesting history. I really like thinking about my "Clan." For a mutt like myself, who has a little bit of everything in me, it's nice to know a LITTLE bit of family history. In a way, giving up the name of Ray is cutting myself off from that history.

Besides, (to be petty) I have a cool signature. How can I change that?

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