December 12, 2000 ~ Appropriate Fortunes for Impending Weddings

A few days ago my fortune cookie, when Morgan and I went out to eat (it was just the two of us), said: "We are very happy together." The next time we went out to eat, I was sitting next to Morgan. My fortune said, "Stop searching. Happiness is right next to you."

I have been feeling very dreamy and happy about the fact that our wedding is in less than a week. I'm also not nervous at all! This feels like such a natural and fateful thing. How could I do anything else? I would be nervous if it was not happening, but, since it actually is happening, I'm not worried at all.

I'm supposed to be stressed out, right? I mean, I have a thousand things to study for, a wedding to finalize, fifty pages worth of papers to write, a five hundred-page book to read, family to greet, and a thousand other little details to work out, but I'm not stressed yet. I always get stressed this time of year... What's wrong with me? I have even more work to do than any other finals week before with a wedding on top of it all, but I'm not stressed out. I mean, I'm writing a journal entry! What am I thinking?

Okay, so it's not really that bad, I suppose. Just a few hours ago, Sam told me it's all right if I turn in my twenty-page paper next week. I really didn't want to finish it rushed at the end of this week, because I know that if I have a little more time without so much pressure, it would be a much more impressive, entertaining, and well-thought out piece of writing. Better for him to read, more challenging for me to write. I think everyone would win out in that situation. He said that he doesn't plan to read the papers until over break anyway, so it wouldn't inconvenience him any for mine to come in a few days late. This way I'll have much more time to do a good quality job on the papers and exams for all my other classes.

If I decide in the future to do four full-credit heavy reading load Literature classes all at once ever again, give me a few really good whacks. Seriously. This has been the most insane semester I have ever had. At the same time though, I am fully alive and kicking, keeping my head above water. I am busier than I have ever been in my life, and I know that I am getting more done and more learned than ever before. I know that I am truly doing every single thing I can. So if for some reason I get less than an A in some class, I won't feel bad for it, because I know that I could not possibly have done any better. I have learned this semester that there is a point where it is not humanly possible to do it all. I have learned to accept that point and not stress out about it. I have learned to be happy with myself for what I did manage.

Last week I wrote my final paper for my Literature and Philosophy class. Instead of doing a normal thesis driven paper, I decided to do a creative short story that integrated many of the philosophical themes and ideas that we had studied over the semester, along with a few of my own. It was great to finally write something purely creative and fun. I had a wonderful time, and I really think the story turned out to be one of my best.

We have a new crew member for The Well! Her name is Rose. I haven't met her yet, but I'm really looking forward to having another coworker. She will start with us next semester. We can really use the help! From what Scott says, it sounds like she'll fit right in with our group.

I never did talk about what happened weekend before last. John Dominic Crossan, a world-renown Biblical scholar who is co-founder of the controversial "Jesus Seminar" and has published about 20 books, was at the college speaking and holding a seminar. I was unable to attend everything, but I did go to a few lectures and a dinner.

What was wonderful, however, is that Crossan is a bit of a mentor for Morgan, and Morgan was able to talk with him on several occasions, and even shuttled him around town a bit. Morgan has thought about going into the study of the historical Jesus and the early Church, so this was a wonderful opportunity for him. It gave him some time to feel out what it might be like to take on that field. He is considering possibly changing or revising his plans as a result. It was really fun to see Morgan in the presence of a mentor. *smile*

I am doing the MFA Creative Writing residency this Winter Break. It is a program for Undergraduate students (like myself) to get a taste of the Master's program here. Lots of writing over the break! I can't wait.

There is only one thing that has me worried right now. I think I'm coming down with a cold. If so, that means it will be full blown by the time we get married. That will SUCK big time. I'm taking lots of vitamins and liquids, though, so I am hoping that will help.

I'm sorry for the broken nature of this entry. I had too much to catch up on! I will try to write one or two more before the wedding, but things are busy, so I'll just try my best.

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