October 6, 2001 ~ Misunderstanding, Misunderstood
There are days when I just want the whole world to slow down and look me in the eyes and really see me and everyone else for once.
And it's something that I need to do, too.
You see, it just seems as if nobody has the time to really open up to each other, to take a moment to think about all of the pain and joy that is happening in the life of another. To listen, to really listen to what someone else has to say, and to understand it for what it is worth, and to let it settle in before judging it... To try to see it from their perspective before tossing it out. And to grow inside because of it.
I don't know.
Maybe it is the forum discussion I've been taking part in, where many people have responded to my posts without really reading them. Responded to them not by arguing the actual message of my points, but by arguing with what they wanted my points to say.
Maybe it's because of the huge list of long and heartfelt messages in my inbox that I don't have the heart right now to actually answer.
Maybe it's the way the man downtown leered at me and then smiled in that dirty way that makes me feel like a prostitute rather than me.
Maybe it's because I have been so very busy and tied up in worrying about big things--big things that I can't control--and I've lost touch with those little moments of connection with people that I really care about.
Maybe it's because I've been misquoted more in the last two weeks than I have been in the last year.
I've been frustrated this last week because I feel like there have been several instances in which people have misunderstood me because they are not willing to change their opinions of who they think I am and what they think that I am going to say. And I wonder if I've been doing the same myself.
So, I just want the world to stop for a moment so that I can reconnect, reassess, re-value all that I know. And make sure I'm really listening, really looking. Because I don't think that I am, and I really can't complain about others doing that to me when I may be doing that to them.
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