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May 23, 2002 ~ Loving the Unloveable
This guy whom I used to work with a few years back was a complete slimeball. Everybody hated him. He lied, cheated, was arrogant, picked his nose and wiped it on the keyboard (that we all had to use), killed small animals because they were there, slept on the job, talked in a condescending nasal voice, and brought porn magazines to work to read during downtime. I am not exaggerating. Now, I'm a pretty tolerant, calm person, but this guy... Oh boy. My blood pressure rose whenever I was in the same room as him.
One slow day at the office, however, when he and I were the only two people on duty, we got to talking, and he ended up telling me a good deal of his life story. When he got to the part about his soulmate, this woman he had been with for several years, this woman who loved him so much, something started to break down inside of my head. The possibility that someone could love this creep had not once even crossed my mind. Now, however, not just the possibility but the reality had sideswiped me. And I could see it. I could really see it, and I had a compassion for him that I never would have dreamed of before.
I was thinking about my Internet friends today. I was thinking about how much I would give just to spend a day with each of them. They are amazing people, amazing, and I love them. I thought of how the people who sat at the table next to one of my friends at a restaurant were missing out on an excellent opportunity by not having a chat. How the people who saw any one of my online friends every few days and thought nothing of it had a treasure in front of them that they just brushed aside.
And then I thought about how every individual, no matter how vile in the eyes of others, probably has a few people who feel the same about that individual as I do about my Internet friends. How a moment with one of them would be precious.
It's thoughts like these that make me consider each and every person whom I pass on the street. I wonder about them. I think about what their lives must be like, the beautiful dreams that they may have for their futures, the complexity of their relationships. Sometimes, when I can get into this mindset, I understand how it is possible to live compassionately. It doesn't take much. I just have to imagine that someone loves that person in front of me, no matter how dirty, loud, or disgusting he or she is. Somebody would give anything to be with that person for just one moment. Perhaps, given time, I would too.
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