December 5, 2003 ~ A Clarification
Friday.
Okay. In light of some of the email that I have received in the last two months or so, I think that perhaps I need to clarify a small issue.
I live what most Americans consider to be a pretty drastically different lifestyle. Many people consider my habits to be fairly extreme. The way that I live my life is the way that I have found works best--for me, personally--according to the how my values and morality have developed throughout my life. It has been a very personal path, with much trial and error. I have tried to make this clear from the beginning.
Lately, however, when an entry mentions or centers around one of my idiosyncrasies, I have been getting responses that seem to indicate that the reader did not see the entry as a recounting of a personal event from a personal viewpoint, but instead saw the entry as something that called his or her own morality into question. I'm not sure how this impression has come up, but it is as far from my intention as can be.
I have been careful to always use specific, non-generalized language in this journal, and I have tried to make it clear that what I write here is a relation of the events in my life and is not a reflection on how the world should work or other people should act.
When I write about pacifism, for example, I write about what it means to me, how it affects my life and my actions, and how I see events in the world around me through it. I do not expect others to be pacifists. I do not dislike or think badly of those who aren't. I recognize that their morality is simply different, because they are drawing from a different well of experience.
The same is true of my veganism. Of my choice to not have a television in my house. Of the fact that I do not ever drink alcohol. Of my rejection of consumerism. Of my pretty extreme liberal stance, environmentalism, and leanings toward Quakerism. These are just a few examples of beliefs and practices that tend to make up who I am. The fact that other people are not these things or have not chosen these things is not a point of contention with me.
When I write about these things, I am writing about how they fit into my life and my personal experience. I am not attempting to imply that others should do as I do. When I write about eating a vegan dinner, I am not making a political or social statement; I'm just writing about what I ate. When I wrote about my aversion to the mall, it was not a condemnation of people who go to malls; it was an explanation of why I, personally, avoid malls. When I rant about politics, I'm just ranting about politics, I'm not trying to say that I am personally offended if you vote Republican.
I've been feeling bad, because the way that I live my life has been, apparently, hurting some people, making them defensive. Some readers have been hinting at the idea that, even though I am not saying, "This is the way that things should be done," the fact that I have chosen to do things a certain way implies that I believe that others should make the same choice. Friends, the world is far too complex for that. I don't think there are ever simple solutions, and I believe that what is right for one person may very well be wrong for another.
It has gotten to the point that I sometimes notice myself censoring my entries, taking out references to some of my less mainstream habits, just because I do not want to deal with the email that may result from it. I can't write like this. So. I'm asking you all to please understand. What I write here is my personal experience, from my personal perspective, acting on my personal morality. I do not expect anyone else to have the same moral standards as I do, I do not despise those who do not have those same habits, and I am most certainly not attempting to tell you how to live your own life.
If something written here sounds and feels right for you, makes you want to change the way that you live your life, great. But if it doesn't, if who I am and what I do isn't who you are, by all means don't feel as if I think it should be.
I hope this makes things a little clearer.
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