April 27, 2004 ~ A Tired Return
Tuesday.
Got back last night. The only word I have that describes the long weekend: Intense. I feel like I've aged five years.
In the last four days:
I didn't get anywhere near a healthy amount of sleep.
Drove about 1000 miles.
Got a speeding ticket. (And oh boy, did I ever deserve it...)
Learned a lesson. A big one. But not necessarily in the way you may assume.
Walked through a clear-cut next to a Virginia rest area, and started crying. Surprisingly, not because of the clear-cut. That's a first. Found beautiful patches of bluets, several swallowtails, and a huge black snake.
I got teased mercilessly for showing the little chink in my perfectionist armor.
I left little love notes for Morgan all over the house, in the most unexpected places. He said he kept finding them all weekend and wishing I'd never left.
My father-in-law got in an accident. He's okay, thankfully, but the classic Jeep pick-up that he spent tons of his time restoring is not.
I got to visit with a close friend whom I see far too little of.
I went on a four-hour canoe trip down a beautiful river, and saw a lot of wildlife that I have never seen before.
(I remembered all of my paddling strokes, too, even though it's been at least eight years.)
I did not sunburn, which is a rare enough event to be noted.
I had more long and serious and emotional discussions with various close friends on Saturday and Sunday than I normally have in a month. One of those discussions was a heated argument (and heated arguments are so rare for me that I can't remember the last time I had one).
I was forced into watching approximately eight minutes of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" and concluded that, in the last seven years of never watching television, I've not been missing much. (Sorry!)
I got an email response from a friend that made me both laugh with amusement and blush with shame. (Part of the aforementioned teasing, I suppose).
I got an email from Morgan that made me ache for something I can't quite describe.
I went to Washington, DC for the second time in my life, and again, only for a day.
I met three internet friends for the first time in the flesh. Deb, L.A., and Pandi, an amazing group of women. It was wonderful to finally meet, and all too brief.
I didn't get to meet Crystal, though, and that was unfortunate.
I went to what may very well be the biggest demonstration in the history of humanity. The tension and passion and sheer mass of people brought chills down my spine and tears to my eyes. I walked silently though a massive crowd, people screaming all around me.
We lost one of our group in the crowd, which cast quite a bit of personal worry and tension over the whole experience.
I was screamed at and cussed out and had someone threaten my life. (And that's aside from the counter-protesters.)
Got some really bad news from the wolf Sanctuary.
I was in the most tense and uncomfortable and potentially very dangerous situation that I have been in for a long, long time. Was thankful when it ended peacefully.
I fought some old demons that I thought were gone for good.
Concern, lots of concern, for people I care about.
Was thankful for both Morgan and Grouse, who were there for me on the other end of the phone line when I needed some support.
I left a day early, in need of Morgan's arms. Fell into them upon arrival.
And today Morgan and I got some really great news. And finally, significant sleep.
But to elaborate on any of this would take a novel, so I won't. (As a friend of mine is fond of saying, "Learn to live with disappointment.") Tomorrow, though, I will describe the March, once everything has sunk in a little further.
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