September 27, 2004 ~ Cardinal
Monday.
I picked up the phone. It was Morgan.
"Please come down here. I need you."
"Well, I've not finished proofing that article you wanted--"
"No. I need you here. Please? Now?"
Something about the tone of his voice made me drop the phone and run down the hill through the rain. He'd had a horrible morning, I knew that already, and with all of the mess we'd had recently on top of it... But what now?
When I came to his office building, he was crouched out front, squatting on the pavement. He looked up as I approached, relieved. I was too busy studying his face for a sign of what was wrong. I didn't see the pile of feathers at his feet until I was right next to him.
"He flew right into my window. I think he's dying. What should we do?"
"Oh, Morgan." I looked closer. He laid on his back, talons clutched against him, head back at a weird angle, eyes closed. Breathing so fast.
"Do you think his neck's broken?" Morgan asked.
"I'm not sure."
"He's unconscious, though."
"Yes, seems to be. We should wait. May just be stunned."
"He hit awfully hard," Morgan said, regretfully. "Is he a finch?"
"No, cardinal. See the beak shape and the black feathers around it?" A juvenile male. The red was not all over, but in the wrong places for a female. And the beak wasn't fully red, yet, which means a young one. I looked closer, and I could tell that the eye was moving under the lid, as if dreaming. I watched his little chest rise and fall, rise and fall.
Suddenly, his eyes snapped open and his wings fluttered. With a blur of motion, he righted himself. Everything seemed to be moving properly, and, now that he was upright, nothing looked oddly out of sorts. I smiled. "Maybe just stunned?"
He sat there, fluffed up, looking kind of grumpy, but also as if he were gathering his strength. Not ready to move yet, though. We stepped back to give him space.
Morgan sighed in relief. "I thought for sure he was going to die."
"Wish we had some of that stuff [Grouse] gives them, karo-syrup, or something like that. Though I'm not sure if it would help in this case... But it certainly wouldn't hurt. Poor little guy. Imagine how much that must have hurt."
Morgan cringed. "No kidding."
The little cardinal was looking more and more alert. Soon he hopped up and flew away. I wish him well, and I hope he had no permanent damage from his collision.
A bright red spot of hope on a rainy day.
Morgan and I have been very gentle with one another lately, with all that has been happening. Each arranging little buoys for the other to keep each other afloat. Times like this, hard times, they bring with them a familiar bittersweet feeling. So very much in love, clinging to this other person who is the world to me, and is my one true comfort, but wanting so badly to take his pain away. Like I said, gentle with one another, when all that is holding back the night is the other's arms. Every day you think it is not possible to grow any closer, but the next day proves closer still. Oh Morgan, my buoy in rough waters. Thank you.
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