March 15, 2006 ~ Three Months
Wednesday.
Grove and me on our hike Monday
A few weeks ago, Morgan's mom came up for several days. Shortly after she arrived, we were cleaning the kitchen after a meal, and I started laughing. To her questioning look, I pointed at the stovetop. One half had oil spots and food remnants covering it and the other half was spotless. "I started cleaning this yesterday," I explained, "and then Grove started fussing, so I went to him. I completely forgot what I had been doing until just now. I keep finding little projects like this around the house, half-finished tasks that I dropped when he needed me."
She chuckled, probably remembering when her boys were tiny.
And if you were to look at the folder on this computer's desktop that holds drafts of entries that have yet to be posted, you'd find several drafts dated from the last few months that look just like the stove did--half-finished.
Grove turned three months old last night.
Three months, not recorded here. I regret the lack of record, but not the reason behind it, if that makes any sense. I've been very busy. Healing. Adjusting. Adapting to Grove's needs. We had a stream of houseguests for two months straight following Grove's birth, so a lot of my time was spent hosting and visiting. Not to mention, it would have been pretty rude to cloister myself away in the study writing, when I so rarely get to see most of those friends and relatives who came in from all over the country. I was making the most of the little time we had.
More than all of those things, however, I have been spending my time with Grove, learning who he is, savoring his company.
I also realized that I needed to take some time to rethink how I approach this journal. Some of that is protective instinct--at a few different times in the past some readers have used this journal to hurt those whom I love, and I certainly do not want my writing here to be used to hurt Grove. Mostly, though, Grove is his own person, but he cannot speak for himself yet. I've been working out how to respect his privacy but still write about my life with him.
That said, I feel like I've been keeping all to myself the most beautiful secret, one that I've been bursting to share.
I have missed writing here. I want to make regular journal entries a habit again. Over the next few weeks, I want to catch up on those things from the past few months that I don't want to forget, and I also want to work my way back into the habit of regular entries again. Bear with me, in the mean time, during the rocky transition stage.
Note added upon upload, March 21, 2006:
See, here it is a week later, and I'm just now getting this entry up! Ah well. Have to start somewhere...
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