introduction

I am the person sitting on the park bench that you just walked by. I am the stranger on the bus, two seats over. I am behind you in line at the grocery store. You just drove by me at the light. I'm that hiker you passed two miles back on the trail.

Modern life tends to be busy and rushed. We don't take the time to truly understand one another, let alone look into each other's eyes. Reading online journals taught me to "stop and talk," in a sense, with people who I would have otherwise overlooked. For me, it became an exercise in compassion and deeper understanding. I learned to break down my stereotypes and to be slower to judge. After a while, I felt the need to give something back to this community that I had learned so much from, so I started my own online journal, in hopes that others would find something of value in my thoughts and experiences. Online journaling is the chance to look a total stranger in the eyes and understand.

I feel that we all could stand to learn a great deal from the thoughts and experiences of our fellow humans. Mine is just another voice, seeking understanding and meaning.

why "Awakened: Treading the Dawn"?

"Dawntreader" has been my Internet handle ever since I first got online, and it has a lot of symbolic significance to me.

Dawn is the balance between light and dark, when the night is a close memory, but the day is visible on the horizon. Behind me is confusion, a lack of faith, pain, a broken family, hurt, and a depressed existence. Behind me is my myriad of angst, depression, distrust, insomnia, and suicidal tendencies. Behind me is the night.

But now, daybreak has come, the clouds are changing colors, I can see clearer now than ever before, and light and happiness have graced my life. I spent many years running away. Now, though, I'm tired of running. I want to live my life. My inward eye has changed its focus. I have found faith; I have learned to say, "I love you." I have made amends with my family and rid myself of my bitterness (well, most of it, anyway!). I have forgiven those who wronged me. I have learned to let go of my fear. I have found my soul mate. I have made my life what I want it to be. I laugh freely and often now. Dawn has come to me, and I am treading in this glorious illumination, exploring what it means to know the light of day.

I respect my night. I have learned from it, and I wouldn't exchange it for anything. This dawn has given me courage and experience to face the night yet again without falling into a spiritual darkness. I try to live "in the moment" now, in the balance that is dawn.

why do I use my real name, rather than an anonymous user name?

Would an author publish an autobiography using a fake name? Not usually. I consider my online journal to be just as valid a publication as my opinions column, an article I write for a magazine, or a book I try to publish. I use my true name for everything else I write, so why not for my online journal?

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